Solitude Standing

Here I am.  At the beginning.  At the end.  A re-birth of sorts. 

I am a vagabond in my own life at the moment, but a vagabond with potential.  What that will look like, I don't know, but I am open to finding out.

 It has been raining buckets this past week, and two days ago I went to one of our local watersheds, McLane Creek, for a few hours of dripping silence.  The chum salmon run had just finished, and their bodies were strewn about the banks of the creek, effort and passion spent.  New Hemlocks grew up from rotting stumps, and moss and lichens re-claimed old branches. 

I reflected on the cycle of life, and felt the reason in it; the peace of it. 

It was a healing walk.

And so it begins.

What She Gave Me

It has been a long while since I've posted, and I wish I could tell you that it has been so long because of normal busy reasons.  The past month and a half have been difficult because my beautiful daughter suffered from seizures terribly, and the day before Thanksgiving, Bronwyn passed away in the Pediatric ICU in Seattle after all attempts to gain control of her seizures failed. 

I ache with missing her.

I know that grief is a process, and I'm only just beginning.  But I re-read this post that I wrote late in October, and realize how much Bronwyn has taught me about living my life thoughtfully.  Bronwyn has given me so much in her short life, and I realize that she continues to give even now after she's gone.  I take comfort in the knowledge that her flame can burn brightly through my actions, and that her flame can be shared with others.  That is so healing all by itself.

What Bronwyn Gave Me:

Patience

Compassion

Perspective

Love

An understanding of selfless giving

The ability to listen

Joy

How to listen to my heart

The ability to be a strong advocate

The importance of receiving: this is something she's teaching me now.

Thank-You my sweet daughter.  I love you forever; you are always with me. 

Until we meet again.

Mercy Me!

I am prone to exciteable exclaimations, and right now I'm feeling all aflutter about the newest Mercy Me creations.  Suzanne worked hard to perfect our raglan sleeve design and we're about to have inventory of this beautiful shirt in three neckline styles: Scoop, Cowl, and Hoodie.  Head on over to our clothing blog to see more photos!

Zippity-Doo-Dah

I do love making little zippered things, they make me smile. 

 A couple of days ago I got a special request for a pencil case made from Amy Butler's Imperial Fans print (from her Nigella collection).  I love the way it turned out, and it's now in transit, on it's way to her new owner.  Hope she loves it!

Hold Gently

Yesterday Bronwyn had a terrible day with seizures and we spent the majority of the day cuddling on the couch.  It was very windy and rainy outside and our couch is situated in such a way that we have a nice view of our front yard.  We've positioned bird feeders strategically so that we can see lots of little birdie activity while we snuggle. 

As we sat there, I thought about how challenging it is to be a Mom.  We want to hold our little ones tightly, so that we keep them safe, but our job is to help our babies become independent and not need us so much.  

I pulled out my sketchbook as Bronwyn snoozed and I doodled this little bird in the hand.  This is what I hope: I am always there for my girl to love and support her, but my hand is open for her to fly free when she can.  That way, we both feel loved and needed! 

Today is blustery still, but we are well rested and ready for what the day brings.  I hope the same for you.

Dyed in the Wool

I have been perfecting my hand-dyeing techniques for my clothing business, Mercy Me Designs.  Check out my blog post here to see what's happening!

New Blog!

I feel like I have a million and one things going on right now, and I guess maybe that's the way I function best; I started a new blog for my new business, Mercy Me Designs; Check out our new blog here!

I'm so excited about my new venture, but I'm still passionate about my first love; BCharmer.  Right now I'm working on a full set of pillow covers for a customer's two couches.  They are coming out SO beautifully!  I'll make sure to take pictures when they're all done to share with you.