Down Time

Yesterday it was a full moon, which was always a special event that Bronwyn and I shared together.  I was especially missing her, and was about to hunker into my sorrow when my husband suggested that we take a drive to the Ocean.  There was a razor clam opening, and, he said, even if we don't get clams, we can enjoy the wind and the surf!  "Okay," I sluggishly agreed. 

I'm so glad we went.  It was very stormy, but we didn't get rained on while we were on the beach.  The cold wind, the clam diggers, and the surf did me good.  I still missed my girl, of course, but I breathed my sorrow in and out instead of holding it so tightly.  I slept all night, and today has dawned sunny. 

New Work

Yesterday I spent part of a lovely sunny day photographing a friend that I wrangled into modeling for my other business, Mercy Me Designs.  It was so much fun, and Michelle was a delight to photograph.  Check out more from the day by clicking HERE to visit the Mercy Me blog.

Self Care

 Taking care of myself has been my M.O. these days, and it feels pretty good.  I've been running again, and although I'm extremely pokey, it just doesn't seem to matter.  One of my self-preservation techniques involves not passing judgement on what I do; I just make sure that my intention is true, and go from there.  What a freeing concept!  So I "run" two times around Capitol Lake, which is a 1.5 mile loop of easy, flat, and not paved terrain.  Mergansers, Buffleheads, Blue Herons, and other waterfowl frequent these waters, and I find that I can get a nice meditation in while I run.  Pictured here is a male Hooded Merganser, who was fishing.  Below is a shot of Capitol lake looking towards downtown Olympia.

I also just made myself a new bag.  This is my Medium Sized messenger bag.  It's smaller than the bigger Diaper bag that I make, but it can still fit a standard file folder and all of my essentials (water bottle, cell phone, lip balm, day planner, book, and an extra pair of socks (you never know when you might need those!)).  I found this awesome fabric and knew I had to have it.  It is distributed by Alexander Henry and it is a home decor weight; feels a bit like a lightweight canvas.  And Mom, if you're reading this, your two bags are all cut out (finally) and ready to be sewn.  I haven't forgotten!

The Flow of Things

I know it has been a while since my last post.  I have been spending a lot of time in deep thought, and just going through my day in slow motion; doing what feels right in the moment.  Although the loss of Bronwyn is terribly painful and I miss her deeply, I am beginning to heal in small ways.  I am starting to sleep better, and I'm starting to feel creative again. 

One of the things that helped me was to move my sewing studio into Bronwyn's room.  I had been spending a lot of time in her room, wanting to feel close to her, and Brian suggested that I move my workspace there so that I could let myself have a natural flow from grief to creativity. 

The first project that I worked on was a hand sewn wool felt cover for the box that Bronwyn's ashes are in.  It felt good to make something important for her as a way to initiate our shared space.  I used hand dyed felted merino wool as the fabric, and linen thread for stitching.  The buttons came from my collection that Bronwyn used to play with. 

 I am beginning to  feel ready to embark on other projects and have several in the works. I plan on coming back to my blog and to the rest of the world on a more consistent basis now.  Healing has multiple parts, it seems, and for me the first part was stillness.  This next part will be activity and stillness together.  Thank-You for your patience and support through my process.  I love you.