Monday, December 29, 2008

My Big Dream

*DEEP BREATH* After my post a few days ago about my birthday wish, I felt scattered. I felt like I hadn't spoken the exact truth. I wondered, "What is it that I really want for the second half of my life. The answer was clear. I want world peace and happiness. I know, I know, I had the same thought: "Yeah, of course! Everyone wants world peace, dummy. Way to set the bar so high that you feel defeated." But wait. Is world peace really an impossibility? We won't know until we try. Wanting world peace doesn't mean that I sit around and hope it happens right?

I was listening to an interview on the radio the other day about the horrible horrible atrocities being commited against people in Africa, and my heart just hurt. I felt so helpless and unable to do anything. I mean, I'm so broke that I can't donate $25.00 to the deserving charities that call me every month. And I have very little time to give to worthy causes. So I felt defeated and depressed. I felt small. And feeling small, my mind brought me to my place in the Universe where I'm such a tiny speck as to be completely insignificant. But then I threw myself a lifeline; I thought about the fact that I am one of many other beings, about how I am part of a huge web of life. So while my individuality does not really matter to the universe directly, it does matter to the person directly connected to me. And what they do matters to the person connected to them. And so on. And if what I do influences my neighbor in a positive way, and that helps them help their neighbor, isn't that the first step to world peace? So what I'm thinking is: it's the LITTLE things that we do every day that make the difference. Of course donating a million dollars is great if you can do it, but that's just not most of our realities.

*another deep breath*

I am happy to report that I now feel empowered to make a difference in this, my fourtieth year. It will be barely noticeable in the grand scheme of things; it will be my little secret of small, kind gestures and tolerance and compassion. And that goes for the way I treat myself, too. It is difficult to radiate kindess outward if you can't start inward. I can't wait to get started!

So there. That is my comitment to myself and to you. Happy New Year to everyone. May you feel kindness towards yourself and compassion for others.


Anonymous said...

Ah, lovely! Happy sigh inserted here... Though I like to believe that actions are of consequences to the universe. Because we are made of the universe, and the universe is made of us, and the connection is so deep and subtle that it often goes unnoticed. However, it's the deep and subtle connections that mean the most. So I vote for your actions being of wonderful, beautiful, tremendous value to the universe. Remember, even stars look tiny, but we know they pack a mighty punch. :)

Colleen MacDonald said...

So true! Thanks for the encouraging words.

vadjutka said...

How peaceful dream it is! I mean, that I feel in your words, that you made a fair and good agreement with your life, which brings you inner peace, and what else could add more to PEACE?
And going on: people like to be with those persons who are in peace with themselves, because that makes them feel good, and give a little piece to them as well.

So it is the butterfly-effect again, that you wrote about: you change something now, and something else changes somewhere in time and space.

Wish you strength (and peace :-) )

Katie said...

What a lovely reminder for the start of the year. I am going to try my best to do the same, as I really do believe in the butterfly effect.

I hope your year is a great one! My great Aunt who reads tea leaves has always said that odd years turn out better than even so I guess we'll see how it goes!

Anonymous said...

My dear niece, Happy Birthday first of all. I thought of you turning 40 - it gives me a reality check every time you and your cousins have another birthday! Time goes by so fast, so we need to be aware and make a difference in the lives of those we are connected to, and yes, they in turn make a difference to those they are connected. I agree - taking care of yourself is the first thing to do if you are going to give to anyone else. Blessings and Happy New Year!! Love you, Auntie B.

Colleen MacDonald said...

Thank-You so much for the nice encouraging words. Love you all.